To Whom It May Concern:
So, this is how it ends. Drugged up, wrists slashed, sitting in a tub of my own blood because I couldn’t take it anymore. This wasn’t my time to go; I know that. I forced myself out of life because it was just too much, I just couldn’t do it anymore. What’s the point in living when all it brings is pain?
I suppose I owe an explanation, huh? Well, as I’m sure you remembered, Christian Mora passed away last fall. That’s where my problems started.
Chuppy was my dearest friend, and when I learned that he had been found dead in his apartment, wrists slashed down the river, I stopped talking. I shut myself up. I just wouldn’t speak. Not even to Ashley.
He had proposed, you know? The day before Christian died and oh, we couldn’t wait to tell everyone.
We made love that night, one of the last nights I was ever close to anyone.
But then Christian died...
I remember, one night, months after Christian’s death Ashley told me, “We can get through this.” And I just stared, silent at a photo of us three, my twenty-first birthday, wondering why I never took the time to listen to CC. He was the happiest person I knew, and when I found his suicide note… I just couldn’t speak anymore.
When Ashley kissed me, all those months later, I remember saying to him, “I know.”
It was the first time I had spoken since Chuppy’s death, and we were going to spread the happy news. The wedding was called back on… and then Jacob died.
Jacob Mark Pitts… how many of you knew he was in love with Christian? He overdosed because he could no longer live without Chuppy. And it was all my fault, all my fault that they were both dead because I never sat down to listen to Christian’s problems, even when he asked politely.
I stopped moving, then, after Jacob died. And for months Ashley took care of me, bathing me, feeding me, dressing me… I just wouldn’t move.
I remember the night I finally did, I finally hugged back when he had enclosed his strong arms around me and he was so happy, the wedding was back on, and we were finally going to tell everyone how in love we were.
The next morning I walked over to my friend Jeremy’s house. I saw him through the window as I walked up, and I waved. He only shut his curtains, not responding.
I had walked into his unlocked house, walked into his bedroom only to find he had hung himself. I was so close, so fucking close and if I had been any faster…
His suicide note only said this, “Please Andrew, don’t tell them.” So I took the noose from around his neck, put him to bed, kissed my wonderful guitarist one last goodbye, and then… I couldn’t think.
Ashley found me, a day later, clutching the hand of a corpse, unmoving. I wouldn’t let go of Jeremy, no matter what Ashley said because I couldn’t, I couldn’t think anymore, let alone act!
We passed his suicide off as an illness, one he had been sick with his whole life.
A month or so later, Ashley kissed me, told me he was going out to think, and as he opened the door to leave me, I began to cry. Everything was brought back, all feeling, all words, I could move and speak and I didn’t want Ashley to leave me too…
We made love again that night, and despite my begging for him to stay, he still told me that he had to think, alone, and he’d be back by morning.
I got the call a few hours later that a Mr. Purdy laid dead at the bar, taken by alcohol poisoning. I didn’t claim his body, I didn’t even answer the man who had called me with a simple, “Yes, I knew him.”
I trudged myself to the bathroom, slipped on my engagement ring, and I sat down to write this.
You’ll find my body in the bathtub, wrists slit and soaking in my lifeblood. I wasn’t selfish to die, because Ashley was my life. I didn’t kill myself; alcohol poising killed me, when it took my fiancé away from me.
This was no one’s fault but mine, and I apologize so much for that. Danny, put down the gun. Matt, drop those pills. No more lives need to be lost tonight, or for a long, long time.
I love you all, but I loved Ashley more. Hey, don’t cry, I’ll see you all eventually!
After all, we all end up in the same place… In The End.
Love for all eternity,
Andrew Dennis Biersack
New Year’s Day, 2020
They say it was a miracle, or maybe just a hoax, but all of the Black Veil Brides Army knew it to be true. For when the gravestone was laid on the riverside, they cried. For when the ashes were sprinkled under each of their savior’s names, they cried. And they remembered, always remembered, Andy’s words.
So when, on New Year’s Day the ashes rose to form five men, young as the days they died, and perfect as anything could be, with black wings shining satin, they knew. They had their saviors back.
Andrew Biersack stepped forward from the rest, and as he spoke, his deep, beautiful voice could be heard throughout the world.
“This is New Year’s Day, and rise from the ashes, Black Veil Brides, the fallen angels. The gates of Heaven were locked shut, the pits of Hell- they were all filled up…. Hey, what’d I say? We’d be together again… In The End.”